


summerfever

by amatterasv



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends to Idiots to Lovers, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Slice of Life, Song Mino Is A Mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:40:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25450015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amatterasv/pseuds/amatterasv
Summary: "i remembered this one time. when we took the bus home and you were so drained that you couldn't help it but fell asleep on my shoulder" seungyoon says, "and i was, like, trying to concentrate in my phone but couldn't. i missed you so much then, even wanted to text you, but instead i made a song" this time the blush in seungyoon's face is visible, at the sight mino's heart takes a leap, "it's called summerfever"(or mino and seungyoon find each other again, and this time mino can name the feeling he was harboring at 17)
Relationships: Kang Seungyoon/Song Minho | Mino
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34
Collections: WINNER Spring/Summer Fic Fest 2020





	summerfever

**Author's Note:**

> [FF006] i don't know what i did, honestly. anyway: summerfever [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6q4-fL-qOQ) to set the mood for the fic!

**mom** [10:22] 

where are you? 

**mom** [10:23] 

seungyoon and his mom came to say bye 

**mom** [10:30] 

mino? 

/ 

“uh, that looks pretty painful” jihoon aims a finger at his sunburned shoulder, deliberately slow, so that he’s able to smack it in time. 

not only it looks painful, it _is_ painful. it makes him wince and curse under his breath and glare at jihoon, all at once, as if it's his fault. it isn’t. it was his own stupidity, really. he should have known better than to take a nap on the beach without applying suncream first, now he has his first busan’s souvenir. 

“you, shit” he says, “put that finger away” 

“whatever” jihoon responds, then shoves his phone into mino’s face, "the closest convenience store is five minutes away, see?" jihoon remarks, showing him the naver maps app, "but, what do you apply for this?" 

“i don’t know. apply aloe vera in the burned area?” 

“that’s a meme, you—” 

the closest convenience store is actually ten minutes away, because none of them are familiar with the area and their sense of direction isn’t the best; the insane amount of tourists flooding the streets doesn’t help either. mino enters first. the contrast between the heat of the street and the air conditioner shocks him at first, but also relieves the burning feeling on his shoulder. a quick search on google determines that he needs aftersun—or aloe vera, he chuckles at that; making the most of the situation he also picks a gum pack and lets jihoon have his way with a pack of beer cans. 

mino gets his money ready before it's his turn to pay, ready to leave the shop and apply the fucking aftersun because, seriously, it itches like hell and— 

“seungyoon?” it’s jihoon’s voice, “holy shit, it’s—it’s you!” 

mino snaps his head up, like instead of a name it was a command. and—yeah, holy shit. not only because seungyoon is looking directly at him, but because he makes a fool of himself by dropping his wallet, causing a couple of coins to roll away. great. there goes his dignity. seungyoon laughs. mino can’t tell if it’s a omg-you’re-still-so-clumsy laugh or a this-dumbass laugh, but he laughs and it sounds like music to his ears, like a song he hasn't heard in so long. and he laughs too. 

“hi” his voice sounds meek, kind of nervous, and it’s evident because jihoon scoffs. but seungyoon says “hi” back in an equally gentle tone and he instantly feels relieved. 

then he puts the gum pack and the cream beside the beers in the counter, and looks at seungyoon. 

he wants so say something with such necessity that he forgets how to talk, stammers around a couple of words just to finally say nothing at all. “so, how’ve you been?” / “it’s been ages, you look different” / “have you been well? hey, we should catch up, if’d you like”. instead, he stands there awkwardly chewing the inside of his cheek and lets jihoon do the talking. 

“you have quite a number of tattoos” seungyoon says then, pointing a finger at mino. 

suddenly mino feels self-conscious because, shit, he’s in a convenience store and he’s shirtless and he has a sunburned shoulder and it’s all too much, but manages to nod. “yeah, a few” responds. the embarrassment climbs all the way up to his ears because seungyoon just stares and lets out a chuckle. 

“how much is it?” unaware of everything jihoon intercedes, and just like that the moment is broken. 

“oh, yeah. right.” 

just when they are about to leave, seungyoon clears his throat, and— 

“mino” 

no ‘guys’ or ‘mino and jihoon’ or ‘hey, by the way...’, just mino. he feels—feels somewhat hopeful. 

“i clock off at eight” seungyoon ads casually, waving his hand goodbye. 

/ 

at half past seven mino is already waiting in a bench nearby, smoking a cigarette. at eight o’clock mino is waiting in front of the store, fidgeting with the lighter. at ten past eight seungyoon emerges from the store, dressed in casual clothes and looking at his phone. a minute later mino greets him as nonchalant as he can and seungyoon looks surprised—like he wasn’t expecting mino to be there, but smiles anyway. 

seungyoon breaks the silence first. nothing grand. just greets him and offers him a nicotine gum, which he declines. then he asks mino what he’s doing in busan. 

“just a trip” mino shrugs, and because he’s awkward and nervous and he doesn’t know how to talk to seungyoon anymore, ads “you?” 

seungyoon laughs, and this time sounds genuine—it’s the same laugh mino grew fond of during their childhood, and he thinks, _i could get used to this again_. 

“mom and i moved away, remember?” 

“yeah” 

“you never called” 

“i’m sorry” 

/ 

midterms are a reality mino doesn't want to think about, even though he very much agreed to study with seungyoon. 

that's how he has found himself in the kang's living room, listening to seungyoon's half-assed explanation of their classic korean literature program. he still doesn't understand a thing and they’ve been on it for almost an hour. normally mino would have catched up with the explanation sooner — he isn’t the first in class or a genius, but his grades are good enough to have a couple of good universities on mind; however, today he is incapable of making sense of what seungyoon is telling him, and it's driving seungyoon insane. 

seungyoon lowers the textbook with an exasperated sigh, and locks eyes with mino. he stays still for a few seconds, unlike mino who starts to get nervous. it isn't his fault that he can't relate with the ideas of some poet from five centuries ago, it's just... saying that aloud isn't his brightest move, because seungyoon sighs _again_ and this time mino feels the chills creeping up his spine. 

"i think this is enough for today" 

"o-okay?" mino’s voice is covered by the noise of the book closing. 

honestly, what's up with him today. 

mino may not be the most perceptive but he is seungyoon's best friend and he can tell — behind that frown and the annoyed look, there’s something seungyoon is keeping to himself. every little thing, from the drizzle outside to the sound of the traffic to mino's breathing, bugs him. he's annoyed by anything and everything. mino just happens to be on the way. he would ask, if he knew how to. the safer option he could think of is wait for seungyoon to spit out whatever he has on his mind, but that could cost them hours. seungyoon seems lost in his own thoughts, because he mutters something under his breath — a curse — unaware of mino's eyes on him, and after a pause says his name, with the exact same tone he used when he lost mino's favorite blade toy and brought a replacement as an apology back then when they were eight. only for the door to be opened at that exact moment. seungyoon's mom smiles as soon as she sees mino, the corners of her eyes wrinkling. she tousles her son’s hair and asks how is the studio is going, before they can say anything she’s asking if they are willing to help her with the groceries. 

"did you do what i asked you to?" she asks her son. 

at that, mino's interest sparks, thinking he will finally know what's behind his bad mood. his glance alternates between mother and son, not wanting them to remember he's still there. he picks up the groceries slowly, looking for an excuse to eavesdrop the conversation. 

seungyoon snorts, shakes his head and starts a sentence that he has no intention to end. maybe he doesn't know how to. his mom gives him a warning look, as if they had had this conversation before and she was _tired_. "look, we have two m—" 

"mom — _please_ " his voice constricts, and shoots her an anxious look, like saying "not in front of mino". 

at least she seems to understand, because she tells them to go study and tries to remove the tension with a smile. 

outside the kitchen mino grabs seungyoon by the hand, drawing circles with his thumb on the back of his hand. seungyoon's expression softens. he doesn't say anything, though, and mino doesn't pry; decides he can give seungyoon a little room to breathe. 

"hey" mino says, after a while, "jihoon said they would go bowling later, do you feel like going?" 

/ 

"what?!" 

the suspicious look in jihoon's face is bearable compared to seungyoon's inquiring one from earlier, so mino stands his ground. as nonchalant as he can he sits on his bed and reaches a hand for the remote control, proceeds to turn on the tv. 

"what am i supposed to do?" jihoon insists, stepping between mino and the tv. 

mino shrugs, making eye contact with his friend for the very first time, "i don't know", he responds, "stick with jiho-hyung and jieun-noona, maybe" 

"what the f—? song mino you want me to third-wheel?" 

"well, i guess" jihoon sits beside him on the bed and looks at him dead in the eye, the stare is enough to make mino elaborate on his previous words "you'll be third-wheeling either way, i mean…" 

/ 

friday is seungyoon’s day off, so he suggests to spend it together 

“we could—you know, we could catch up” he says, “and i could show you around, i mean, if you have time” he says, “jihoon can come, too. and jiho-hyung” he says. 

mino beams and tells him "yeah. yeah, sure. we should. yeah. i’d like to." 

the meeting point is settled in a park near the main street of haendae beach and the hotel mino's staying at. 

when mino arrives, seungyoon is already waiting, sitting on a bench and looking at his phone, with a slight pout on his lips. just the mere sight of it brings memories to mino's mind — 

of when they were teenagers. the look of concentration on seungyoon's face during a studying session. his lips pouting with a pencil balanced on top of them, his index marking the line he was reading. mino letting out a sigh, then another, and another one until seungyoon finally looks at him because "hey, hey, i don't understand this" and "waitjustletmefinishthisparagraph"

— to the point that he has to shake his head and look at everything that's in between them. a couple walking hand in hand. a dry puddle. a girl riding a bike. five years of silence. 

"you're early" mino remarks, rather than greeting him. and because he's not satisfied with just that, nudges seungyoon's foot with his own. seungyoon nods and scratches his nape, mouths "guilty". 

rather than occupying the other side of the bench, mino sits beside him. his tight brushes against seungyoon’s—that's when he notices seungyoon is wearing shorts and an ugly shirt that screams 'summer' in capital letters. he doesn't move it, though. 

seungyoon breaks the silence first, asking mino if he has had trouble finding the spot, and after that he brings up the idea of taking a walk. 

at first, they play safe. tiptoeing between this and that. coy smiles and small talk. 

they talk about the weather, how sunny it's today, and how crowded haendae is always in summer season ("and the rest of the year, to be honest", seungyoon adds under his breath); they keep chatting about the coffee shop that will open soon, and the hotteok's street-stall that is closed for vacations ("they're the best, too bad you won't be here to try them!" the pity in seungyoon's voice resonates within mino for a few seconds, but he manages to reply with a harmless "yeah, what a shame" before seungyoon notices); mino also updates seungyoon about jihoon and jiho ("he doesn't know how lucky he is to finally be dating jieun-noona!" is all he has to add to the matter). 

they don't talk about the day they argued or the reason they stopped talking; neither about how life is treating them, or how different those lives are, one in seoul and the other in busan; they don't mention the people they've meet over the years or if there's someone special. 

at some point, right after passing near a street artist, mino mentions that he’s still painting — “just to pass the time, really”, he clarifies, somehow has the need to do so; but still, seungyoon keeps looking at him with the same bright eyes, a small smile hanging at the corners of his lips, like he thinks of mino as this incredible person. 

he doesn’t think of himself as anything, but he does take pride in the idea — of being more at seungyoon’s eyes, more than just their fight and the immature kid from back then. 

mino feels seungyoon’s right arm encircle his shoulders, to avoid losing him in a group of tourists. inspired by that touch alone, he allows himself to daydream. 

he lets his imagination wander for a few seconds, away from the heat of the street. 

the scenery changes, they're no longer making their way between tourists, they're sitting at a table in a local bar, he's blinded by the ambient lights, but somehow he can clearly see seungyoon's smile. there's not enough space for six persons in a table destined for four, but mino doesn't mind being a bit squeezed, not when his arm touches seungyoon's in each small, minimal, movement, creating that electric feeling that makes him look for the next touch. he doesn't recognize any of the other faces, but seungyoon does, based on the way he's addressing them. 

"guys" it's seungyoon's voice, slurred because of the alcohol "this is mino, he's my best friend for life" 

his heart skips a beat. 

"...there?" 

reality is all sorts of different. 

when mino snaps out of his daydream, he has seungyoon's gaze on him, just like in his reverie, but instead of the slightly drunk carefree look, he has one brow lift. 

says his name with a little more hesitation, too, as if he has sensed mino went somewhere far just a minute ago. well, he did. but not to the place seungyoon is probably thinking, though. 

"wanna go in there?" seungyoon repeats, when mino is fully back with him. mind and body present. 

an arts supply shop, that's — mino doesn't have time to complete the thought before seungyoon grabs him by the wrist, only a half-smile as a warning, and drags him through the glass doors. 

they leave the shop after six minutes, with a new set of brushes for mino and a conversation about whether or not the shop assistant was trying to flirt with him. (he states that she wasn’t while seungyoon claims that she was ready to leave everything behind — at that mino thinks, and not without a little mortification, that he has found something he won't let go of soon.) 

seungyoon is the first one to change the topic — stretching his arms above his head, he looks blithe and so, so, young mino can't help but remember another scene from their teens. he shakes his head before the memory have time to settle. this seungyoon right here, right in this very moment, is the one that he wants to commit to memory. from the tips of his bleached blonde hair, to his ever-pinkish fingers, to that boyish grin he directs at mino just because. 

the realization doesn't hit him then. it hits him many hours later, while they're sitting leg against leg and arm against arm, watching the sea from a viewpoint. at their feet rest the bags, full of memories of what has slowly turn into a day of shopping. at their sight a pair of surfers waiting for to catch the perfect wave. that it's when it hits him. seungyoon smells slightly like fruit and the sunset draws shadows on his face. he isn't talking, hasn't for a while; neither of them have any words left, even though there is plenty of stuff mino wants to tell him — i miss you / can't you come back? / please let me know you again — he can't make himself say it, instead he just looks at seungyoon. the sunset light gleams around him like a halo, and when he looks back at mino his eyes are shaped in the form of little crescents moons, and mino thinks — _oh. so, this is it._

for years, thinking about seungyoon always came with a void in his chest. the feeling that something is missing, and that he can't take back. now, finally, he can put a label on that feeling. and it isn't as terrifying as he had imagined. 

the weight lifts from his shoulders, and mino feels lighter, he breathes out without realizing it; a laugh is born in the deepest corner of his throat and spreads all over his body, in a gentle shudder that catches seungyoon's attention. 

this is his favorite moment of the day. 

this is the communion of all their years. 

the last walk of the day is along the coastline. it's beautiful, mino thinks — maybe says it aloud, because seungyoon fixes his gaze on him and nods. the air here tastes different, and the sea breeze pierces through his skin without mercy, sticking its unsaid truth in every cell of his body. 

(you won't see him again song mino you won't see him again song mino you won't see him a—) 

it's funny, in a sense, how he now feels the sadness he should have felt before, when he made peace with those feelings he had neglected all this time — even more, the same sadness he felt all those years ago, when seungyoon left him behind. 

he should be over it, by now. 

"you haven't touched your fruit" seungyoon says, out of the blue, pointing a stick at him. 

oh. the iced fruit, yeah. 

mino looks at his hands, at the plastic cup in them and — frankly, he forgot. 

walking down the beach seungyoon announced that he was hungry _and_ decided that mino was hungry as well, so he brought two cups of iced fruit because "you'll love it, guaranteed" and "never mind that they are a little expensive, i want to do this, song mino, so shut up". 

he picks a slice of strawberry and, without a word, munches on it. that brings a smile to seungyoon's face, at least the sour flavor is worth it. 

"hey, listen" they lock eyes, seungyoon breaks first, "thank you for today, it was — i had fun" says it in a tone that sounds like he hasn't had fun in a while. 

the small smile seungyoon gives to him, agitates something within his grounds — makes him want to grab his hand and never let go. so mino squeezes the plastic cup. as much as he wants to act nonchalant, he can't, so he awaits in silence for seungyoon to say anything. 

"hope you had fun too" seungyoon lets out a sigh. 

that's all it takes for mino's strength to falter. "don't make it sound like —" he waves his hand, at loss of words, "this grand goodbye or something, c'mon" 

seungyoon doesn't say anything, just laughs. mino feels definitive. 'so, this is it' echoes his mind again, for a completely different reason and _fuck_ , he wants to laugh too, but he can’t even breathe a sound as seungyoon moves closer and closer and closer until his lips touch mino’s cheek. a firework explodes in the background. or maybe it’s mino’s heart. he isn’t sure anymore. of what he is sure of is seungyoon’s kiss still lingering in his skin like it came to make a home of mino’s body, and the warmth he feels all over, as if it’s summer inside of him too. 

“have to go” seungyoon retreats one, two steps “have fun on your trip” 

before mino has time to say anything, he twirls making a mess of the sand and goes. mino watches his retreating figure. the pang of his heart is more than a pang, it’s — it’s — the necessity to run after him, to know what was that, if it even means something, if he’s imagining things, and if so then why is seungyoon walking with his head hunched between his shoulders. 

just — fuck it. if this is the end, he'd rather not have had this afternoon. 

"mino" 

"yeah?" mino says, but means _don't leave me just yet_. 

"i have a gig tomorrow night" seungyoon responds, his tone a little unsure, "that's what i do. you asked what i do besides work on the store so, that's it." mino's smile blooms — spreads like wildfire before seungyoon finish talking, "you are leaving on sunday morning, right? so — come, please." 

"yeah" to know that seungyoon kept playing after all, makes him twice times happy "sure. i'd like to. just — where?" 

/ 

there's a small chance that he has forgotten how to speak korean. just like this. all of a sudden. nothing else explains why he is unable to understand even a single word of what seungyoon is telling him. 

(something about his mom and her work and the moving truck parked outside and busan and —) 

seungyoon's voice waver as he gestures trying to explain himself, but it just makes him look more anxious. can't look mino in the eye. so, he looks to his feet, to mino's feet, to the fence that separates both their houses, to anywhere. it's when he falls silent that mino finally looks at him. 

if this is hard for seungyoon, for mino isn't any better. 

two hours ago, mino was trying to convince seungyoon to go to the new karaoke place with them, and now he finds — it makes sick to his stomach, to think that seungyoon has been concealing something like this from him. 

a part of him knows that he has no rights to get mad at seungyoon. because it's not like seungyoon had had any saying in the matter nor this is happening to punish mino in any way, this has nothing to do with him and mino is well aware of that fact. but what he is feeling right now is so overwhelming he does not know how to handle it, worst part of it is that he feels the need to redirect his anger at something, at someone. now he understands. he understands now how moody seungyoon was lately, and all those times he seemed to want to say something to him, just to end up shaking his head and talking about trivial things. 

"wasn't i your fucking best friend?" 

seungyoon's eyes snap open, mouth agape, like he can't believe mino snapped at him like that. he's right. mino knows he's right, even more so, he has all the rights to push mino away. 

"don't — fuck, mino. i tried, okay?" seungyoon shouts back, "i tried to tell you so many times, and i— mom was fired and everything went fucking downhill. and i tried — but, i couldn't and — fuck." 

"how long?" 

"a month or so ago" 

at that mino breathes through his mouth, trying to calm down. truth is hard to fit. seungyoon is moving to busan. he hasn't told him. he thought about telling him, but he didn't. he has had almost a whole month to do so. _and._

there's not a word in the korean language — nor in all of the other existing languages of the world, that could describe what he's feeling. 

seungyoon looks like he's waiting for mino to say something, but mino can't bring himself to it. he's sure of only one thing. if he opens his mouth, he's going to fuck it up again, going to say something he doesn't mean, going to hurt seungyoon; because he's angry and nervous and exhausted and feels betrayed. 

seungyoon grabs the sleeve of his shirt, trying that those steps mino has unconsciously backed off won't go any further; but that only increases his urge to run. 

"listen, i don't want —" with his free hand seungyoon makes a motion, signaling his house, mino and himself, " _this_ " 

upon mino's silence, seungyoon speaks again, this time irritation seeping through his words. "can you fucking act like — i don't know. don't be an asshole. i _am_ the one who is moving away" 

before seungyoon has a chance to try to make him understand why they are leaving, and why busan, and why this is so much harder for him than for anyone else, mino gets rid of his grip. 

he mutters something that he himself can't quite understand, and turns around. instead of going home, he goes in the opposite direction; and then runs. 

"—tomorrow!" seungyoon shouts, but mino doesn’t have the energy to care. 

when that day came, mino refused to say goodbye. he ran away from home just in time to not meet seungyoon, but to see the moving truck leaving the kang's parking lot. that heightened his anger, the feeling of betrayal he had been feeding yesterday. 

on his way to busan seungyoon messaged him, like nothing happened. mino didn’t reply. seungyoon tried again, a few days later, mino didn’t reply to that either. after that, they never talked again. 

/ 

there's not enough space for six persons in a table destined for four, but mino doesn't mind. 

the ambient lights blind him, and how close they are to the stage, added to the background music, makes it hard to follow the conversation with ease. seungyoon's right arm brushes against his own, when he talks, he faces mino with his whole body and lets his fingers rest on mino's wrist deliberately. that makes it twice as hard for him to concentrate, to breathe. 

the night feels like a deja vu, except that this time is pretty much real. 

more soju is poured on his glass by seunghoon, seungyoon's best friend from busan; seunghoon smiles at him, asks another scathing question in such a way that somehow manages to look friendly. mino likes him, even though he is under the impression seunghoon hasn't decided yet whether or not the feeling is mutual — he looks at mino with a grin, but at their touches [seungyoon's and mino's] with half-lidded eyes. next to seunghoon there's jinwoo, the only other unfamiliar face; he is so handsome, it's hard to hold his gaze. he is sparing with words but friendly nonetheless. jinwoo is the one who asks about their trip, and recommends this or that drink as the self-proclaimed drinker of the group. mino watches how he engages in a small conversation with jiho-hyung, the other self-proclaimed drinker of their group. 

half into jihoon's reply to seunghoon's question, seungyoon finishes his glass of soju in one gulp and stands up, gesturing towards the stage, a signal that mino feels is only for him even though everyone is looking at seungyoon. "have to go" he explains, just before the barman announces him as the next act of the night. jiho pats his back, like he used to back home, "good luck, seungyoon-ah". 

"this is his thing" seunghoon explains, looking at seungyoon, "says he's not good enough to try his luck outside open mic nights but, ha, he's just being modest, you'll see" 

mino doesn't need to see to know. all of his adolescence (songs composed between laughs, afternoons of listening to seungyoon strumming his guitar) testifies in seungyoon’s favor. and despite that, he wasn't prepared to _hear_ him. the moment seungyoon's fingers press against the guitar strings, the moment seungyoon sings the first word — eyes closed, mouth dangerously close to the mic — mino feels a wave of emotions wash over him. mostly longing. of evenings spent on the backyard of his parent's home, of late-night walks around seoul almost hand in hand, of never-ending conversations till one of them fell asleep, of afternoons listening to seungyoon playing whatever came to mind on the guitar. there's want, too. of seungyoon. and there's the same emotion he felt yesterday, when they were by the sea and seungyoon looked at him and he was smiling and something exploded inside of mino. this time, when seungyoon looks directly at mino, mino gulps whatever's left in his glass in a go. 

two songs later and seungyoon is down the stage, trying to make his way back to their table. jiho is the first one to congratulate him, claiming he has both the voice and the talent. seungyoon feigns embarrassment, says there's nothing to praise in a couple of covers. 

"the last one wasn't a cover, though" jiho says back, supported by seunghoon's nods. 

instead of saying something, seungyoon smiles shyly and nods. "yeah. did you like it?" 

"it was the best out of all" at that mino wholeheartedly agrees, patting seungyoon's back just to make seungyoon look at him. 

"thanks" a faint blush appears on his ears, but the lights make it hard to notice "i still think it's no big deal, but thanks, hyung" 

the conversation returns back to normal after that, and mino loses the opportunity to congratulate him properly; part of him wants to tell seungyoon that yes, he was listening, and _yes_ , he never took his eyes off of him, and yes, he'd like to listen to that song again, he'd listen willingly to whatever song seungyoon wants to sing next. 

they are supposed to go for a drink, but when they are near the counter seungyoon changes his mind and grabs his wrist, with a small smile, making mino follow him despite almost collapsing with someone. the only explanation he gives mino, when they are almost outside and the music doesn’t swallow his voice, is that he needed a breather. seungyoon guides him to the back alley of the club. 

both lean against the wall, arm against arm, searching for warmth in the chill night. mino extracts a cigarette from the pack, offers another to seungyoon, who rejects it shaking his head. they stay like this for a while. listening to the muffled sound from inside, to the other breathing, to the night busan traffic. 

"so" seungyoon breaks the silence first, "you're really leaving tomorrow" 

"yeah. we've been here all week. shit. if i knew —" if he knew he probably wouldn't have done anything, after all, he's always been such a coward, incapable to look seungyoon in the eye. seungyoon understands — still knows him well, because he laughs softly and tells him that it’s okay. 

this seems like his best chance to tell seungyoon what he thought, if only he wasn’t so afraid of scare him away. all the words are tangled inside his brain and by the time he starts making sense of them, seungyoon clears his throat again. then it occurs to mino that this might be something more. more than a cigarette escapade. like a goodbye — or a confession. seungyoon guiding them to an end. 

for years he thought of what he would say to seungyoon if he were to be in front of him again. the obvious answer is to apologize. he was immature and blew the issue out or proportion, could have been more understanding — should have said goodbye. that done mino would try to get close to him again, because he misses seungyoon. is as simple as it sounds. now he's at a loss of words, have been for three whole days. seungyoon, however, said everything up on the stage. 

mino breathes through his mouth, closes his eyes to fill himself with courage. once again, the effort is in vain. 

"ask me about the song" given the silence, seungyoon nudges mino’s side, insisting. he seems playful but mino can tell, can see behind the façade. seungyoon is nervous, it shows in the way he avoids mino's eyes, in the way he chews the inside of his cheek. 

two more seconds of silence, then mino caves in and seungyoon stops holding his breath. 

"i remembered this one time. when we took the bus home and you were so drained that you couldn't help it but fell asleep on my shoulder. and i was, like, trying to concentrate in my phone but couldn't. i missed you so much then, even wanted to text you but instead i made a song" this time the blush on seungyoon's face is visible, at the sight mino's heart takes a leap, "it's called summerfever." 

as by instinct, mino looks for seungyoon's hand, wrapping his fingers around his. he confesses that he has also missed him, that yesterday seems unreal, that he doesn't want tomorrow to come. seungyoon rests his head on mino's shoulder. he confesses then, that he is sorry, twice, until seungyoon raises his head and looks at him, he isn't smiling completely but mino knows that he can stop torturing himself for something that happened so long ago. 

whatever confession he was about to say next, mino forgets it. his eyes lock with seungyoon's and, when seungyoon lower his glance to mino's lips, his breath itches in anticipation. the first touch is chaste. tastes like a mix of cigarette and alcohol, but it's addictive because it's seungyoon. mino tries to follow seungyoon's mouth for another kiss, groans unintentionally when said kiss doesn't come; at least he pins seungyoon against the wall, one hand next to his head, the other still holding the cigarette. seungyoon's hands wander from the front of his shirt to his neck to, finally, his hair. he smiles. mino smiles back. this time is seungyoon the one who goes for the kiss, and this time there's nothing chaste about it. seungyoon tugs at his hair, presses against his frame, and even though it stings a little mino does not complain. he wants to be even closer. at some point mino throws the cigarette to the ground just so he could cup seungyoon's cheek, caress it with his thumb as a new kiss goes by. he goes from the jaw to the neck, and from the neck to — seungyoon retreats. just to kiss him again. maybe he's just imagining things, but perceives more urgency in the kiss than before. he doesn't smile this time, though; but kiss back just as fiercely. 

his imagination could never conjure quite well enough how kissing seungyoon would feel. his full lips feel perfect against his own. he feels that same electricity that has been hunting him every time seungyoon has touched him, accidentally or not, amplified by thousand. his lean body feels perfect against his own. and thinks, just like yesterday, that this is it, he wants this —it's what he has been looking for all those years. 

or maybe he's just horny. because when he presses seungyoon against the wall, and with that his half hard-on on seungyoon's own, seungyoon pushes him back and they both come to their senses. an embarrassed smile breaks on mino's face, mouths a 'sorry' against seungyoon's neck. he's never gonna breath again. 

"there's something i haven't told you" seungyoon sounds breathless, mino looks at him but seungyoon takes his time to continue, waiting for mino to lean against the wall, so that he can look at him "you know how i wanted to dedicate myself to music, at least, i don't know, compose stuff for others or something. and a couple of months ago i received this weird call — they offered me a job. in seoul. i haven't said anything yet. they are persistent but —" 

mino reaches to hold his hand, with a similar intensity to when they were kissing. he understands that seungyoon hasn't decided anything yet, that he's still not sure. he knows seungyoon’s life is now in busan, but if there is a chance, no matter how slight it may be, to make this a new beginning, mino won't hesitate to take it. 

"i understand" mino finally says, his shoulders feel lighter, "you know, even if you need another two months to make up your mind, i'll be waiting." 

seungyoon smiles, all teeth and small eyes, "that's all i need to know." 

/ 

**seungyoon** [18:25] 

the train arrives at nine in the morning 

you sure you could make it? 

**mino** [18:27] 

then i'll be there waiting at eight 

**seungyoon** [18:28] 

you? waking up early? willingly? 

must be something important happening 

**mino** [18:29] 

my boyfriend is coming home 

i dare you 

to tell me at least one more relevant historic event 

**seungyoon** [18:30] 

… 

**mino** [18:30] 

exactly 

you can’t


End file.
